


I Stayed For You

by oflaufeyson



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Jeonghan drank a lil too much, M/M, Shitty attempt at angst, Weird cameo of Jun somewhere, Why do I keep putting verkwan in my fics?, minor verkwan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 21:39:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13199073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oflaufeyson/pseuds/oflaufeyson
Summary: Jisoo had sacrificed his whole life for his best friend. So why is this what he gets in return?





	I Stayed For You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Jisoo! I was too busy to actually write him something good, so I'll post this instead.

Jisoo stared at Jeonghan grimly from across the room. The whole place sucked. Everything sucked. And it's all because of his blind loyalty to Jeonghan.

 

He didn't even know why he did it. He never really knew why every time he just did what the boy said. Well. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had been secretly in love with him for as long as he could remember.

 

Even though there's no way his feelings could ever be returned.

 

Were they close? Very, he'd like to think. Jeonghan had always referred to him as his ‘best friend’ and since college started, they went to the same one and even shared an apartment room.

 

Was ‘best friends’ merely a status? Probably. To be very honest, they don't even talk that much anymore. All the quality time they spent hanging out and just talking about random things at 2 AM on the floor were just memories of an old routine thrown out the window. Jeonghan had been constantly juggling his part-time job with college, anyways. Jisoo could understand that.

 

But everything else? He was really wishing it was all just a dream. When Jisoo graduated highschool, his parents moved back to Los Angeles, the place where he was born and raised. It was supposed to be the whole family. But then, there's Jeonghan. All he had to do was make puppy eyes, held Jisoo’s hand, and begged him to stay once. And so Jisoo let his parents leave him behind as they moved back to the comfy place he once called home, his old friends, and a language he’s able to read better.

 

A moment of weakness, surely. He hated himself for not being able to regret his decision. All for a stupid crush that calls him friend once in a while.

 

Jeonghan _had_ sticked by his side from the earliest moments. But recently, he'd been finding that Jeonghan would rather choose hanging out with his other friends rather than him. Sometimes he feels invisible. The worst part is that at the end of the day, Jeonghan would pay attention to him and suddenly it was like nothing happened and he was so easily forgiven.

 

Because if it's like that, there's no way Jeonghan actually cares about him, right? Sure, he might be clingy sometimes, but is that not just how he is?

 

And now, it has happened again. After weeks and weeks of short in-between conversations, Jeonghan suddenly walked up to him and asked for him to accompany him to a party.

 

Jisoo isn't a big fan of parties. Or strangers, or large crowds, or dim lights and rowdy, ear-deafening music. But Jeonghan being Jeonghan was really convincing. So, he thought maybe it was time to finally get a little time with Jeonghan, right?

 

Wrong. There Jeonghan was, along with his other friends. And Jisoo was just watching from afar. Sure, he'd call him, or wave, or try to bring him into conversation, or ask if he's had a drink sometimes, but still very far.

 

And so there was nothing Jisoo could do but just sit, control his breathing, and wait it all out, his patience slowly running thin. For a few hours, he just watched Jeonghan smiling and laughing and flirting with both girls and guys. For Jisoo, it was sickening.

 

Then, the party seemed to have died down. A lot of people had left or passed out. Jeonghan was exchanging some words with his friends. Jisoo caught him pointing in his direction once. By the guesses, he was about to leave as well. Honestly, Jisoo was surprised he was able to stand straight by the end of the night.

 

And then the long-haired boy approached him with a wide grin on his face. “Jisoo, I'm gonna go to an afterparty with Seokmin, is that okay?”

 

Jisoo narrowed his eyes at him. Who does he think he is? After dragging him along to a party filled with strangers and then continued to _ignore_ him practically the whole time they're there and now he's going to, what, ask him for permission to leave? That was the last straw. Jisoo had had about enough.

 

“Really, Yoon Jeonghan,” he said flatly and sighed. “Just fucking go with him. Why would I care?” Jeonghan's smile faltered. “J-Jisoo what's wrong?” “Nothing. Just go.”

 

Jisoo turned away from him and Jeonghan pressed further. “What's wrong? Tell me.” “Nothing! Why am I obliged to tell you?” he snapped. Jeonghan seemed taken aback by his reply. “You're not. I just wanted to know if you're willing to share.”

 

Jisoo rolled his eyes. “And why would you ask for my permission to go, too? Couldn't you just go? Why would my say affect your actions?” “W-well…” Jeonghan stuttered. “You're free to do whatever you want. I'm in no position to control anything you do.”

 

“Yes…” he continued nervously. “But, I don't know… Maybe I kind of just felt like I needed to ask you since you're my friend--” Jisoo snorted and rolled his eyes at ‘friend’. “--and I came here with you, so-” “Oh, so you _are_ aware?”

 

Jeonghan's expression fell even further. “I-is that it? Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-” “To leave me alone in the midst of drunk strangers while you're aware of my social anxiety? To continue ignoring me and shrugging me off because you're talking to your _cool_ friends after I searched for you for over an hour? Seriously, Yoon Jeonghan.”

 

Jisoo pushed past him and stormed out the building, ignoring the shouts of his name and some stares he was getting.

 

He felt like crying. Honestly, he was on the verge of tears. But he was too angry, he couldn't even get them out. He felt like choking on them inside and he couldn't do anything about it.

 

After walking for about two houses distance, he could feel an arm tugging at his sleeve. He stopped in his tracks and heaved out a sigh, turning around still brewing with rage. “What?!”

 

Jeonghan's eyes were teary, his lips trembling slightly. “I'm sorry, okay? I really, _really_ fucked up-” “You think sorry’s gonna cut it?” Jisoo stared at him incredulously. “ _Really,_ Jeonghan? You think I would've acted like this if that was the first time?”

 

He sighed and pulled his hand away forcefully. “If this keeps up, I'm leaving.” “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

 

“I'm leaving Korea. I don't know why I even stayed for a man that doesn't give a shit about me.” Jisoo turned around and continued walking. His words were final. He didn't once thought of stopping or turning around, ignoring the sniffling sounds that accompanied the stream of Jeonghan's tears.

* * *

 

 **_Lee Seokmin:_ ** _Are you still mad at Jeonghan-hyung?_

 **_Lee Seokmin:_ ** _He stayed over at my place last night. You should've seen the condition he was in. He was crying really hard non-stop for hours until it finally tired him out and he fell asleep._

 

Jisoo sighed. Were they seriously going to blame him now? As if _he_ was the bad guy?

 

Okay, he did feel bad for making him cry. But at the same time, he was oddly satisfied after Jeonghan finally got what he deserved after treating Jisoo like shit for so long. Curse his double-sided feelings.

 

 **_You:_ ** _Tell Jeonghan that he should've seen it coming._

 **_You:_ ** _I'm not apologizing for simply pointing out the truth._

 **_Lee Seokmin:_ ** _wow_

 **_Lee Seokmin:_ ** _What happened between you two?_

 

Jisoo sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

 **_You:_ ** _Doesn't matter_

 **_You:_ ** _Just tell him that._

 

Jisoo locked his phone and dropped it down onto his bed. He stared at the open suitcase beneath his legs and considered if he should really start packing.

* * *

Jeonghan's heavy eyelids fluttered open slowly. Warm sunlight greeted him immediately, followed by the pounding of his head and an unsettling feeling somewhere inside him. He groaned and tried to move. He was definitely not in his bed. From the uncomfortable positioning and lack of space, he'd say he was on a couch.

 

“Oh, you're awake,” said Seokmin from the floor beside him. He'd been watching over Jeonghan as he slept for the past few hours. “How are you feeling?”

 

Jeonghan blinked a few times. His eyes were still half-lidded and puffy. Although clearer, they were also still sort of red from crying.

 

The memories from last night started flowing back into place. “I don't know anymore.”

 

Seokmin sighed. “I already got some water ready for you. And some medicine for your hangover, too.” He gestured to the glass of water and a bottle of pills on the floor beside him. “Thanks,” Jeonghan mumbled. Even though his throat felt really dry that it hurt to breathe and his head was aching like it was splitting open, he didn't make a move for either of the two.

 

Seokmin got up to make a cup of tea for himself. “So, I texted Jisoo this morning while you were sleeping,” he half-shouted from the kitchen. “You wanna know what he said?”

 

Jeonghan didn't. He knew that whatever it was, it would just drown him deeper in agony. And surely, guilt. “What did he say?”

 

Seokmin reappeared in the doorway holding a mug to his lips. “He said he's not going to apologize for saying the truth. And that you should've seen it coming.”

 

“Of course he did.” Jeonghan stared off into the distance and began tracing shapes with his fingers onto Seokmin’s leather couch. “It wasn't his fault. It was all me.”

 

Seokmin sighed deeply once again. “You, my friend, are suffering the symptoms of heartbreak. Mind filling me in?” The long-haired boy slightly raised his eyebrows at him. “Yes, I know what heartbreak looks like. Seungkwan fights with his boyfriend sometimes.”

 

Jeonghan stayed silent for a little while before deciding to sit upright and drink some of his water. Seokmin had to help him a little considering his hands were still shaking. “Thanks,” he mumbled as he lowered his drinking glass.

 

Seokmin sat back down to his spot on the floor. Jeonghan noticed the sleeping bag and pillows placed underneath him. He must've abandoned his bed and slept on the floor instead so he could watch over Jeonghan.

 

“So you know Jisoo's parents are in America,” he finally started. “He wanted to come with them too. But, I selfishly begged him to stay here. With me. He was reluctant but he agreed.”

 

Jeonghan tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “He's so nice. I really don't deserve him. He sacrificed his family for me but I treated him like shit. I admit it. I was seeing him less and less because I was so busy with my job. And then I guess I started to ignore him too.”

 

Jeonghan sniffled. Tears were forming again at the base of his eyes. “He must've felt so neglected. I am _such_ an asshole. He wouldn't've snapped at me if he wasn't really hurt.”

 

He wiped at his eyes, making Seokmin reach out to comfort him. “Hey, hey, it's okay. You can fix this.” “Can I? Just him leaving me forever is bad enough, but he hates me now, too.” “He doesn't hate you. I know he doesn't.”

 

Jeonghan glared at him. “Really? How do you know? If you saw the text he sent you, I don't think you'd really mean that.” “I know because I know Jisoo. And he doesn't hate you. I think no matter what you do, he won't really hate you. I mean, he's your best friend. He even pretty much left behind his family for you.”

 

Jeonghan sighed. “Don't remind me.” “My point is, hyung. He won't hate you. And he can forgive you. But only if you quit moping by yourself and actually try to make it up to him.”

 

Jeonghan averted his gaze from Seokmin’s and fiddled with his glass. “Do you wanna hear something?” he asked finally. “Hear what?” the younger asked back confusedly. “The truth. A secret that's probably not really a secret but I've never spoken it out loud before.”

 

Seokmin raised an eyebrow, signalling Jeonghan to continue. “I'm crazy for him. Like literally, and seriously so. Everytime he smiles I lose my capability to think. Everytime I'm near him my heart beats so fast I feel like exploding. Everytime he scolds me I feel like melting and I end up not catching a single word he said.”

 

Jeonghan took a deep sigh before continuing. “Why was I drifting away from him? Why did I took him for granted? I don't really know. Maybe it's because I'm too scared. Too scared of accidentally screwing up. Too scared of getting too close to him that instead I'll lose him. Well, it seems that I did it anyways.”

 

Seokmin’s gaze on him softened. “But it's not too late, you know that.” “Can you tell me something, Seokmin?” Jeonghan turned to him. “By this happening, do you think it means that maybe I mean more to him than I thought?”

 

“Jeonghan,” Seokmin shook his head. “It has always been that way. However much you think that is, I know the answer would always be much more.”

 

Their conversation was interrupted by the rattling of keys and a lock opening. Behind Jeonghan, the apartment door swung open, revealing a quite-disheveled Seungkwan.

 

“Hyung? I heard what happened last night. I'm so sorry, I came as soon as I could. You know I always oversleep when I'm at Hansol’s,” he said as he took off his shoes and walked in, the door closing back behind him.

 

“Oh. Hi, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan greeted him weakly. “So what exactly happened? Are you alright?” Seungkwan walked up to him, his tone concerned. “Oh my god, you look like a mess. You slept, right? Drink some more water. Do you need some food? Maybe take a shower too, you smell like alcohol.” Jeonghan sighed. “I'm fine, Seungkwan. Thanks for worrying.” Obeying his dongsaeng’s words, he drank more water.

 

“Did he break up with you?” Jeonghan nearly spat them back out. “W-what?! Jisoo and I aren't dating!” “S-sorry?” Jeonghan glared at him. “Don't make me say it again.”

 

He was honestly pissed at how genuinely confused Seungkwan looked. “Oh, I'm so sorry. I really thought all this time-- you two were dating-- maybe you two have just always looked like lovers.”

 

Jeonghan groaned and buried his face in his hands. Seokmin snickered. “Oh, but they _will_ be soon.” “Shut up!” Jeonghan lifted his head again and glared at them. “I really don't know if you two are super good at making me feel better or worse.”

 

“Better, of course!” Seokmin shouted, his signature grin growing wider. “Look at you all flustered! Just a few hours ago, all you could do was cry.”

 

“Yeah, okay, you're right.” Jeonghan allowed the smallest smile on the corner of his lips. “So, Seungkwan. You and Hansol have fights, right?”

 

“Y-yeah,” Seungkwan fidgeted, evidently thrown off by the question. “Why?” “When you're both upset at eachother, how do you apologize to him and make up?” “Well, usually I'm at the receiving end of the apology, but I guess I've done it once.”

 

“And how do you that?” Seungkwan glanced at Jeonghan and Seokmin who were staring at him expectantly back and forth, flustered by the sudden rush of personal questions. But for his poor hyung that was hurting, maybe it was alright to share a little bit.

 

“Well, I just did the same as he always does to me. I… Bring him flowers and prepared like, a speech of how much I'm sorry and I love him and all that. Oh, and I even sung that cheesy song he cringes at but I know he secretly loves and can't resist smiling at if I'm singing it. And then I smother him with hugs and kisses until he accepts my apology. Oh, and usually we spend the rest of the day together to make up for the lost time and all.”

 

By the time Seungkwan was done talking, Jeonghan and Seokmin were looking at him with half-smiling, yet half-cringing expressions. “W-what? You were the one who told me to elaborate!” “You two really are perfect for eachother,” Jeonghan commented. “Yeah, I agree,” Seokmin added.

 

“Whatever!” Seungkwan brushed them off although looking pleased. “Why did you even ask me this? Are you planning to buy some flowers for Jisoo-hyung and maybe serenade him?”

 

“I guess so. Although maybe not the serenading part.” Jeonghan took another sip of water. “So, will you guys help me get ready for this without returning back to my apartment? Because I don't think I can handle seeing him before I'm fully prepared.”

* * *

 

“Hi, can I please get a bouquet that says ‘ _I really fucked up and I'm so sorry, but I promise it won't happen again, and I love you’_? Thanks.” The florist stared at Jeonghan weirdly but proceeded to the back of the store and started working on his bouquet.

 

Jeonghan drummed his fingers on the counter and looked around. There were so many flowers placed here and there. Jeonghan knew almost nothing about flowers and their meanings, so maybe he should ask the florist about them later. Jisoo was more of the sentimental type and he knew that he liked reading about them sometimes.

 

“Here you are. Is this okay?” The florist reappeared with a beautiful bouquet of white, purple, and other flowers of the similar tone. “It looks perfect. May I ask what they mean?”

 

The florist perked up immediately, as if he was proud of his work and was really hoping Jeonghan would ask something like that. “Well, first up there are white tulips. They are a classic flowers to symbolize forgiveness. Purple hyacinths means asking for forgiveness. Lily of the valley means return to happiness, white orchids are for innocence and reverence, and pink carnations means that you won't forget them again.”

 

Jeonghan nodded. “That sounds perfect. Thank you.” The florist seemed satisfied and rang up the price. “Thank you very much,” he chirped as Jeonghan handed him the money. “May I ask what you did, though?”

 

The long haired boy sighed. “Something really stupid that I would regret forever if I don't apologize for right now.” The florist just made a silent ‘o’ and nodded. “Okay. Good luck.”

 

“Thank you--” Jeonghan glanced at his nametag. “--Junhui-ssi.” The two exchanged small bows and Jeonghan exited the store with a bag of flowers in hand.

 

Passing by a bakery on the way home, Jeonghan decided to also buy Jisoo his favorite chocolate cake. Along the way, he was just praying to whatever god there might be that Jisoo would at least forgive him.

* * *

 

“Jisoo?” Jeonghan called out quietly as he entered their shared apartment. He hasn't been home in about three days now. He wondered how Jisoo was doing alone.

 

The lights in the living room were off. He noticed the bedroom door was shut with a little bit of light peeking through the bottom and hoped Jisoo was awake inside.

 

Slowly, he made his way across the open space and opened the door after knocking gently. “Jisoo?”

 

The boy he was looking for was sitting on his bed with a book in his hands. He looked up after hearing his name, expression indifferent. “Where were you? I was starting to get worried.”

 

Jeonghan scoffed internally. He might've said he was ‘starting to get worried’, but over the course of those three days he didn't seem to bother to even text him a single letter.

 

“Are you still super duper mad at me?” Jeonghan said carefully, making his way over to Jisoo while trying to keep the flowers and paper bag hidden behind his back. “What do you think?” Jisoo replied flatly. He then noticed Jeonghan's awkward scuffling and finally showed a little bit of emotion. “What's that you have behind your back?”

 

“Okay. First of all, I ask you to please hear me out. You can say whatever you want afterwards, and feel about this any way you want, but please don't interrupt me and hear me out first.” Jisoo narrowed his eyes at him but nodded nonetheless.

 

Jeonghan pulled out the bouquet of flowers from behind him. A little bit of satisfaction filled him at Jisoo’s cute surprised expression. “Hong Jisoo. I am really, _really_ sorry for the way I've been acting and for anything wrong that I've ever done to you _ever._ I know what I did was really wrong and inexcusable, especially after you got really mad at me when I _know_ how rarely you get mad, but I just want you to know that I regret everything that I did and I'm really really sorry.”

 

Jeonghan took a deep breath. Jisoo’s expression was still as indifferent as ever. He hoped at least some of his words got through. “If I could go back and redo everything differently so you don't get hurt, I would. But I can't. So, I'll just try to make it up to you now. I know I've been terrible. You can hate me all you want. You can leave after this if that's what you want and you'll never have to see me or hear from me again. But before you do, there's just one thing I have to tell you first.”

 

Jeonghan took a another deep breath. He almost gave up on doing it until his eyes met Jisoo’s. Expressionless. Guarded. Yet somehow, expectant. It urged him on.

 

“Hong Jisoo. Ever since I saw you quietly talking to the lab bunny when you thought no one was watching back in middle school, I have been hopelessly and completely in love with you. I won't make any excuses, but the only reason I have in mind for pushing you away was because I'm actually scared of losing you. I've been in love with you for so long, yet the thought itself fears me more and more each day. Now that the worse have happened and you'll hate me anyways, I just want you to know this. I don't really care, I just want you to know that no matter what, my heart will always belong to you. You can do anything you want with it, just-- I really fucking love you, Jisoo. And I'm still really sorry.”

 

Jeonghan closed his mouth in finality and waited dreadfully for a reply. After seeing no signs of Jeonghan continuing his speech, Jisoo finally asked the question that had been bothering him.

 

“Are those orchids? Aren't they kind of expensive?” Jeonghan looked down at his bouquet in shock. “Y-yeah, I think so. I didn't really look at the prize though, I just bought them-- I just confessed to you, and you comment on the _flowers_?!”

 

Jisoo raised an eyebrow. Jeonghan, one of the stingiest people he knows for anything other than clothing and most types of food, would buy useless expensive flowers without even really _looking_ at the price? Miracles do happen.

 

“Sorry, I just didn't expect you to actually go all out with the flowers and all.” “I'm sure you d- Were you expecting this?!” Jisoo shrugged. “I meant like, if you were to come to your senses and decide to apologize or something.”

 

“Oh.” Jeonghan raised the paper bag on his other hand. “I also got you that chocolate cake thing that you really like.” Jisoo’s eyes lit up. “Seriously?!” Jeonghan nodded satisfactorily and dropped it down on Jisoo’s nightstand.

 

Jisoo finally took the bouquet from Jeonghan's hand and studied it. “Tulips. Lily of the valley. Carnations. Are those hyacinths?” he mumbled to himself.

 

Jisoo put away the bouquet on the nightstand as well and gestured for Jeonghan to sit down in front of him, which the other boy obliged to nervously.

 

“So, I bet you think I forgave you already, huh?” Jisoo started, his tone subtly menacing. Jeonghan immediately panicked on the spot. “Oh my god. N-no, I didn't! I already said it would be alright if you don't-” “Jeonghan, you didn't let me finish.”

 

Jeonghan gulped nervously. “Oh, right. G-go ahead.” Jisoo leaned in closer and lowered the volume of his voice. “Maybe I'll forgive you. But only if you do one more thing.”

 

Jeonghan was clearly already distracted by the way Jisoo occasionally glanced at his lips with half-lidded eyes. “And… What's that?” The younger decided not to answer that question with words as he closed the distance between the two.

 

Jeonghan’s eyes fluttered closed and he felt himself melting into the kiss immediately. Jisoo was kissing him so soft and tenderly, he found it hard to focus on kissing back when his brain and his whole body had turned into mush.

 

He had kissed people before, but nothing have ever felt quite like this. Somewhere along the way, he could feel Jisoo smiling into the kiss. Time seemed to have stopped and it went on forever. A forever he immediately missed when they finally parted, slightly gasping for air.

 

His arms had found their way around Jisoo. Jeonghan's eyes opened again, the boy still in a daze and couldn't process the information correctly. Jisoo’s expression broke into a grin. A sweet, lovely, and dorky grin he couldn't help but to mirror.

 

Jisoo bumped their noses together lovingly and whispered quietly, “I love you too, Hannie.”

* * *

 

“So, wait,” Jeonghan suddenly said as the two laid in Jisoo’s bed later that night, limbs tangled together in an attempt to fit in the limited space. “This means you forgive me, right? And you're not going to move?”

 

Jisoo sigh and tucked another strand of hair behind Jeonghan's ear. “For the last time, I'm _not_ going anywhere. Why did you even think I'd do it? Transferring in the middle of a semester is a huge hassle, you know.”

 

“I don't know! You were the one who said that!” Jeonghan whined. “And _you_ were the one that believed it.” “That's just really mean. I cried the whole night, Shua.”

 

“Yeah, and it was really cute. Also, you know you kind of deserved that.” Jisoo smirked wickedly. “And don't call me Shua.” “...But you _have_ forgiven me, right?”

 

“Jeonghan,” Jisoo sighed. “I already forgave you since Seokmin sent me a video of you sleeptalking last night.” “Oh thank go- wait, Seokmin did WHAT?!” “I know you sleeptalk sometimes, but that was amusing to a whole new level.”

 

Jeonghan’s cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson.“W-what was I saying?” Jisoo snickered. He bumped their foreheads together and began poorly mimicking Jeonghan’s voice. “ _Jisoo~ I'm so sorry. I love you soo much~ Please don't leave me~”_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that was good enough. Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are highly appreciated ^^
> 
> [Edit: A good song that fits this fic is Back To Me by GOT7! It's really nice and honestly one of my fav songs, so please do listen to it (and think of Jeonghan when you do lol)]
> 
> Don't forget to check out my other seventeen fics too if you wanna~~


End file.
